Argus Hamilton


© Copyright 2018

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Argus Hamilton

BEVERLY HILLS--God Bless America, and how's everybody?

The Comedy Store started the Comedy Channel to telecast comedy talk shows. We were packed all weekend. Only in L.A. do people say to themselves-- it’s a beautiful night, the city is on fire, let’s all go pack ourselves into an eighty-year-old wooden building on the side of a dry, dusty hill and laugh.

Kim Kardashian was forced to flee her home in the West San Fernando Valley on Friday after a raging wildfire fueled by Santa Ana winds threatened thousands of homes. She was extremely angry as she stood in the backyard. The fire refused to stand still when she tried to take a selfie with it.

Southern California firefighters battled blazes in the West San Fernando Valley all weekend pulling out all stops trying to contain the damage to homes. It could have been a lot worse but the flames stopped short of the Kardashian family’s house in Hidden Hills. Silicone is an accelerant.

Malibu residents evacuated Friday as spreading brushfires swept from the West Valley toward the coast via Malibu Canyon. It was chaos on the Pacific Coast Highway. When Harvey Weinstein woke up in Malibu Friday and saw the flames outside his bedroom window, he just assumed he’d died.

President Trump awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Babe Ruth and Elvis Presley at the White House Friday. It was a brilliant move. Trump finally figured out a way to get a sports champion and a member of the entertainment industry not to refuse an invitation to the White House.

The Wall Street Journal says Donald Trump played an active role in paying hush money to porn star Stormy Daniels and Playmate Karen McDougal. We can agree on one thing. When it comes to spending money to hush people up the Trump administration certainly isn’t getting its money’s worth.

President Trump said he hopes North Korea sanctions will goad them to open up their society to the world. They’ve executed eighty people for watching foreign TV or owning Bibles. After North Koreans saw what the Bible and TV did to Americans, they decided it’s best to nip it in the bud.

President Trump returned from Paris Monday following the Armistice Day centennial service attended by the war’s participants. There were no major gaffes. Speechwriters working with the Jaws of Life successfully kept Trump from stating there were good people on both sides of the Rhine.

The Wall Street Journal criticized President Trump for insulting the French in France over the EU army proposed by President Macron. Trump was just trying to fit in with the local culture. It always seems that dealing with the French people on French soil brings out the German in everybody.

Paris hosted world leaders to mark the centennial of World War One’s end Sunday. Old habits die hard. When German Chancellor Merkel reviewed the French troops, they had to glue both arms to their sides to keep either both arms from going up into the air or just the right arm as she passed by.

President Trump’s visit to France was capped by a stern lecture from the French President on his nationalism. Trump’s trip to France was the typical American tourist experience. He landed in Paris, ate some French food, changed plans due to the crappy weather, was insulted, then went home.

Southern California’s restaurant shooting last week added to the numbing regularity of recent attacks. Last night when a gunman opened fire in the restaurant where I was eating, I did what most normal people would do. I got out my phone, went onto Facebook, and took a picture of my food.

The United Nations Human Rights Commission condemned the United States for its economic embargo on Cuba that’s preventing trade, aid and open tourism. Cuba’s economy is really in the dumper. Things are so bad in Havana that if you throw a dog a bone, he has to signal for a fair catch.

 



© Copyright 2018 Argus Hamilton. All Rights Reserved.

 

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